churchofsterek:

gallifreyslocked:

when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

(Source: thewinterswidow, via ugly)

260,258 notes

delicatemotion:

randomstuff134:

sodamnrelatable:

take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures

image

some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like

This gave me anxiety

(via best-of-text-posts)

1,171,466 notes

vvebkin:

when the whole class knows they’re going to fail the test 

image

(via gnarly)

148,825 notes

shslequius:

"homework" *tired zombie noises*

"studying" *sad zombie noises*

"responsibilities" *disgusted zombie noises*

"internet" *happy zombie noises*

(Source: clgdoublelifts, via best-of-text-posts)

209,231 notes

andrvw:

black licorice isn’t a candy it’s a punishment 

(via disorder)

295,157 notes
The more swiss cheese you have, the more holes you have.

The more holes you have, the less swiss cheese you have.

Therefore, the more swiss cheese you have, the less swiss cheese you have.

image

(Source: themattumblr, via asian)

121,920 notes
breakinq:

following back heaps♡
beautifrei:

offside-goal:

Omg chill

this is some airbending shit right here

dutchster:

*makes the incorrect facial expression way too often during a conversation*

731 notes

codeinewarrior:

me: hey can i have some money?

bank teller: do you have an account with us?

me: nah i just heard yall got money

(via intensional)

86,936 notes

ohshititsgreg:

QUICK THERE’S NO TIME GRAB MY BONER

(via human)

234,153 notes

fauxfangs:

I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities 

This depends on the person

(Source: goblinparty, via wallfl-0wer)

553,800 notes